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Wealthy Men Unable To Accept Obama’s Tax Proposal

By Anonymous 

LOS ANGELES, CA—At a food pantry for the homeless, 107 wealthy middle-aged white men were found protesting President Obama’s tax rate proposal, which aimed to hike taxes on top earners and offer tax relief to low-income Americans.


Since many millionaires and billionaires pay a lower tax rate than average American families, Obama announced a tax reform plan in his 2015 State of the Union address. But these rich men could not imagine a life of being taxed more than the lower class... which is understandable, since they cannot possibly spare any of their money for unimportant causes, like education funds for the children. Helping to pay for an unnecessary thing like that would be a crazy idea!


In this massive group of men, several were yelling “Tax the poor!” And “Money is for the rich!” Most of these wealthy white men were holding signs that said phrases along those lines.


As I observed the crowd protesting, I came across 57-year-old Richard Jenkins, a wealthy company owner in Beverly Hills, California. I asked him for his opinion on Obama’s proposal and he had several thoughts to share.


Richard said, “We are here because we don’t know what it’s like not to get our way in the world, so we’re preparing for the worst. Who knows how terribly this could affect us? We cannot take any chances of becoming any less than filthy rich.”


When he was asked, “Do you think your financial situation would remain alright if this proposal were to come true?” He looked at me like I was insane, which I understand, since this was an absurd question. He replied with, “President Obama is favoring the lower class, and I don’t understand what I did to deserve this cruelty. It’s not fair!”


“If Obama were to do this to us, I would lose a large amount of our money, causing stress, leading to depression, then I would need more therapy sessions, which would cost more money… then the same would happen to my children… and the next thing you know we’re all living on the streets!” Jenkins was terrified for how his life could change, but I cannot say I follow the extremity of his interpretation. But sadly, Jenkins could lose a whole fraction of his wealth, meaning he’d have to cut back on how many Porches he buys a year, which would be a tragedy.


“I don’t see why I should be punished with higher taxes, considering how hard I’ve worked for my wealth,” Jenkins said to me. He has a point, considering he had worked his whole life for his money. His job that allowed him to gain his riches was quite a challenge: doing absolutely nothing. His parents had the same job. Being born into wealth is so much work, and being given the family company at age 22 takes a lifetime of dedication!


Jenkins was also asked if his daily life would be interrupted by this burden of a tax proposal.

He answered, “Yes. My life is busy enough as it is, relaxing by the enormous pool outside of my billion dollar mansion, shopping sprees to Gucci and Louis Vuitton, and eating at five star steakhouses. It sounds nice, but being this busy causes me stress!”


I asked him for examples of daily stress he undergoes, and he replied with, “Sometimes, when I go to Starbucks, they get my drink order wrong and I have to be unnecessarily rude and cause a fuss. And last week when I wanted to buy a Coach purse for my wife, they didn’t have it in stock, so I had to pick a different one. They treated me like an ordinary citizen, even when I tried to slip the saleswomen an extra $100. There are times when I cannot buy my way through life! It’s awful! Raising the upper class’s taxes would only add more problems like these to our lives.”


Obviously, millionaires like Jenkins cannot not bear to give up money for good causes, or even worse, help out the lower class by lowering their expenses. That would obviously be the end of the world. Instead he enjoys keeping his money for himself to purchase vacation homes on tropical islands.


When asked if he had any final thoughts on the distribution of wealth in America, he said these words of wisdom:

“Silly poor people, money is for rich people!” And of course Jenkins is right, as rich white men in America always are.


Brandeisky, Kara. “What Obama's Tax Plan Would Mean for Your Wallet.”, Google, 2 Feb. 2015,


“Are We the Rich Man in The Rich Man & Lazarus?” The Millennial Pastor, Google,

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